Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
