we have officially lost it.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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