then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
