Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
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