omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Randomize
