This is not my ceiling
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
