you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
