Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
