Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Randomize
