It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
