well I can't set my house on fire every night
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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