im about as happy as oj after his trial
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
