Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
