hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
