You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
