FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
