The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
