we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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