It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
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