even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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