Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize