dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
