Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
