After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Randomize
