I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
