I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Randomize
