omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
