I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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