Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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