Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
