you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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