you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
