problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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