I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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