i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
