He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
