never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize
