Please, let me fuck your mom
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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