After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
