Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
