let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
