I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
