We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
