You made me cry and you don't even care
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Randomize
