is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
