I wish life had little blips of pornography
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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