i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
