So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
They took my balls.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
