So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
