I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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