i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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