I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
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