8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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