if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Dignity is for republicans.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Floor bacon is actually really good
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
