Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Dignity is for republicans.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
