Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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