I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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