i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
